One of the harder facets to being married to a merchant mariner is the frequent and abrupt changes in day to day life. Anyone who’s dealt with a partner leaving for extended travel understands how life sort of stops before and after as you dedicate all free time to making moments before they leave and once they return home. Plus once they are back home, you must readjust the household to be a joint venture rather than a distance one. Now take that practice and repeat it every 4-6 months for years. It’s difficult to imagine. It is also our life.
We are very lucky that Casey has found a ship he loves working on with coworkers he enjoys. Before this ship, our schedule was more turbulent. Casey works 7 days a week and 8 hours minimum each day. It’s a lot and can be wearing. He also spends half the year out at sea, a quarter to a third in the shipyard, and the remainder on leave.
The upside to this is he gets 2 months off for every 4+ consecutive months he works. They’re completely off 24 hours a day for 60 days. I adore my husband, absolutely head over heels, but man that is a lot of one on one time. The first few weeks are wonderful, catching up and experiencing that “post deployment bliss”. Then it gets tiring. I want to spend as much time together as I can because as soon as he leaves, he’s gone again. But at the same time I miss the independent life I have when he’s not home. I neglect my friends and hardly see them as frequently as I usually do. And I hold off on activities in order to make them family events, reducing my usual spontaneity. It’s also why blogging falls by the wayside.
We are several years in and still working to find balance for out ever shifting lives. Currently, Casey is newly home from a month at sea and is working long shifts preparing the ship for a repair period. Soon it will become our normal, and then our normal will change again with the next adventure. Luckily we are well practiced in the art of hellos and goodbyes.